There’s a transformation happening. It’s been a long time in the making. The result of hard work, and getting back up, and finding joy, and learning to love myself - over and over again.
It’s come in bits and pieces. Slowly at first and then, frequently. It started with noticing triggers and pausing before reacting. Examining the assumptions that I was making. The emotional response.
Then I became aware of patterns and habits, conditioned responses, that have been holding me back. Noticed that I was “rebounding” more quickly, when I did fall into those patterns. Taking responsibility for my role in them.
Around the same time, I started working on creative projects again. I’ve collaged, I’ve painted, I’ve doodled and made myself trinkets in clay.
Not long after, I noticed that I’ve been releasing shame — so much shame — over these patterns. And my role in them.
The latest development is that I’ve started a yoga and pilates routine, effortlessly. One day, I decided. I started just before Italy and have been going consistently since. And I’m doing it with joy and enthusiasm and — no shame.
No surprise—I love it. I already feel better in my body. I’m remembering what it’s capable of and how it feels to be strong, and how much I loved it.
I feel good. I’m growing into the next version of myself. I’m expanding and centered. I’m learning to take care of myself, and to love myself.